Not your average art teacher

Yes, I teach elementary art. If I were in a police line-up, I doubt you would pick me as the first one you'd expect to teach your five-year-old proper painting procedures and why you shouldn't paint your teeth with tempera. Of course, you'd probably not want anyone to teach your child if you had to pick them out of a police line-up... but I digress.

Things you will never see in my classroom:

• Glitter- first and foremost. My hatred of glitter is almost equivalent to my hatred of Popsicle stick crafts
• Popsicle stick crafts
• Cotton ball "bunnies," "sheep," or "clouds"
• Anything that you would expect to see at a vacation bible school craft station. NO CRAFTS
• A whiney kid that hasn't felt my wrath

Surprisingly, the great majority of my students actually like me. Go figure.

(image: Demetri Martin)